Pandemic and Motherhood

Being a mother is the most difficult job that ever existed on the face of the earth and being a mother who is a psychologist makes things even more complicated because everyone’s eyes are on your child. After giving lecture to parents and conducting workshops on parenting, I realized that the most difficult thing to do was practiced everything that I preached all along. Things got worse when the pandemic hit and we were all locked shut in our houses.

Thanks to the subject Psychology, even before I got married, I knew what post partum depression was. Somehow, I would always tell myself that this would never happen to me because I was so obsessed with babies and managing babies of my cousins were a piece of cake. But when I actually became a mother, I understood what it was to run through the guilt field. At that time, all I wanted that someone told me that what I am going through is normal and that whatever I am doing for my child was the best. Anyway, today I wont be writing about my post partum experience. Today I will talk about how I manage my son during the pandemic.

When the first Lockdown happened, my son was very small, he was only 9 months. He did not develop the concept of the outside world yet. However, when everything got unlocked, he grew up and he started to understand the joys the world outside had to offer him. The joy of going to “Mama Bari”, visiting malls, going down to play with younger friends and all of this. He had even attended weddings and one of them was near the Digha Beach. And after experiencing all of this, lockdown #2 happened. And we all knew that it was the worst one ever.

Reading Mom Blogs made me feel like I am the worst mom ever and that everyone other than me was doing such a great job. But then I quit all of that and started to do things differently.

1. I tried to understand my child: After searching the internet, I bought blocks for my son but he ended up cooking food with them rather than building something. That’s when I realized that it is very important to understand the personality of children because all of them are different. Engage them with toys and activities that they like. Don’t give them everything in one day but let them choose the toy they want to play with.
2. Schedule: By now my son has already got into a pattern. So, I decided to give every activity a time. Children get used to the timings very easily. I joined online therapy so I too scheduled all my sessions at a time when he usually sleeps in the afternoon so that my in-laws can also take a rest with him or in the evenings so that my husband can play with him. By doing this, all of us not only are able to manage our personal work but also spend as much time as possible with our son.
3. Discipline: I usually allow my son to be the wild animal that he is but he is well aware of the fact that he has to face consequences for his tantrums. He has also been taught to pick up his toys after his playtime. Give children positive reinforcements. Praise them for the tiniest achievements, make them a part of your daily chores. That way they will learn responsibility from a young age.
4. Give time to yourself: I thought of writing this blog almost a month back but I could not only because I had some tough days manage work and family. Accept that there will be bad days. Sometimes maybe you just have to make them watch Youtube because you have a lot of work to do or maybe because you are just simply tired. Do not feel guilty. The pandemic has proved to be the most unexpected incident in our lives. So remember that your child will feel happy having you sit beside her/him watching Peppa Pig rather than having you scream and shout at her/him because you are exhausted and you just let it all out on them. However, when you feel recharged, get back to the schedule and reduce screen time for the following days to balance it all out.