I was 5 years old when I noticed that there was a 17 year old girl in my life. She was extremely critical about everything I did. It was very clear that she hated me. Life used to be great when she wasn’t around. She used to be in the house for a while and then disappear for months without saying ‘Goodbye’.

My parents and I moved. New place, new school! Everything was perfect till she walked in. She came to stay for good this time! Back to the torture chamber for me! When I left for school, my parents wished me, but she ignored me instead of saying ‘Goodbye’.

I woke up one Christmas morning to find a huge poster of Santa right next to a beautifully decorated tree. Right under it were Gifts beautifully wrapped and eloquently placed. Inside were my favourite toys and books. I was later told that this girl who made my life miserable, payed and actually sat through the night to wrap all the gifts for me. Still every morning when she left for work, she greeted mom and dad but walked away without wishing me ‘Goodbye’.

I was 11 she was 23. Everybody was dressed,but she was exquisitely dressed in white. Was a strange day and my young mind couldn’t explain why I felt that way. The band played all her music that I happen to love.
After the celebration, I realised that she was missing! I ran to look for her and saw her getting into a decorated white car. I ran to be beside her because I realised that I liked being with her a lot.
She stopped me saying, “Tony! You can’t come with me! You will have to go with Mom and dad!” She looked sad! We both had tears in our eyes, but the door closed and the car drove away. But she still didn’t say ‘Goodbye!’

July 23rd 1997.
I get a call telling me to come home immediately because this girl was diagnosed with a fatal brain tumour and she was on the last and final stage of her life.

Just before breathing her last, she told my mother that she wished to see me… to me.

October 7, 2017
She would have been 64 today! She inspired me and showed me all the things that I adore and cherish in my life.
It’s been 20 years ago…..the girl in my life, my older sister.. my only sibling, quietly passed away….In a calm and gentle manner, one dark and gloomy day!
I tried my best, I just couldn’t make it on time to be by her side. And with a heavy heart I realised that I never got a chance to thank her……never got a chance to hold her hand and say my last and final Goodbye. RIP….ROSE! She has lit the brightest torch, to show me the way! I will always be grateful!


Tony –  Antonio Fernandes, He is one of my favorite guest post writer. He wrote this as a tribute to his late sister Rose. I don’t have siblings so I wouldn’t know or understand the pain of growing up with someone else. But I do have a void in me. Sometimes I think I have missed an important part of grown up as I will never know what it would feel to grow up with the love hate relationship under one roof.



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